christmas with the cullens
by LOSHfan4546
Summary: what happens when Bella Swan goes over to a house full of vampires for christmas? and why is Rose making cookies? alice picks out a dress for bella and emmett likes it. rated T for some of the gifts some of the cullens and bella get for christmas R
1. Chapter 1

**I can say that this story is kinda mature it hints in to lemons. None happen though (or at least I don't describe it) the story is the next chapter **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything twilight related if I did there would be less Jacob in new moon when Edward left and a lot more humor. **


	2. the real ch 1

Christmas with the Cullen's

Bella swan was at her house getting ready for a Christmas she will never forget. Alice had made arrangements for a privet party at the Cullen mansion. Those who are attending are: Edward, Jasper, Emmett, Carlisle, Bella, Alice, Rose, and Esme.

She was wearing her usual jeans and a tee shirt with a Santa hat on her head.

_There_ she thought_ ready to go to the house full of vampires and with them a merry Christmas. _ She was very cheery and perky today considering Alice had told her one of the gifts Edward was going to give to her. She jumped down the stairs to tell her father bye. He was going over Billy's for Christmas.

"Hi dad, Merry Christmas."

"Hi Bella are you planning on having fun with the Cullen's? You seem to be spending a lot of time over there." Charlie was sitting on the couch watching a basketball game. "Don't you ever get bored over there?"

_It must be a rerun._ Bella thought

"No, I don't get bored and yes, Edward said that Alice set up the living room so much it doesn't even look like their house anymore." She replied as she walked to the door.

"Sounds interesting Bella have fun."

"You to, bye"

"Bye"

**I know that it's short but the next chapters will be better I promise. READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!**


	3. dress

Alice and rose have been setting up the house as if it was a grand festival. There where lights everywhere, colors of red, green, white, and a beautiful shade of blue. The Christmas tree was 10 feet tall and being decorated with ornaments.

"Bella!" exclaimed Alice as she ran to her human friend. "I am so glad you came. Edward Bella's here."

"Oh shit! I broke the damn plate!" Rose screamed from the kitchen.

"What was that?" Bella asked cautiously

"Rose is making cookies." Edward explained.

"Why? You don't eat."

"But you do." Alice said. Grabbing her by the arm and taking her upstairs.

"Alice where are we going?"

"There is no way you are going to go to a Christmas party in jeans. I picked out a dress for you."

"Alice no. you know that I don't like-" Bella stopped breathing.

The dress out in front of her was a little shorter than knee length red and no sleeved. It was cotton and looked to small.

"Do you like it?"

"Wow umm. It is pretty, but I don't think it will fit." Bella examined it holding it to get a better view.

"Yes it will go on put it on." Alice gave her one of those don't-mess-with-me looks, so she decided to try it on.

Once it was on it fit nicely, it wasn't to tight, and came to her knees.

"Damn you look sexy." Emmett walked in on them.

"Get out of here Emmett. Hey how come I didn't see you coming up here?" Alice asked trying to change the subject.

"Because I didn't think about doing it until I was here."

"So what where you expecting you see?" Bella asked annoyed, Even though she knew the answer.

"I didn't expect anything only to tell you that rose finished the cookies." He chuckled under his breath as he walked back downstairs.

"I can hear then talking." Alice said to Bella. "Emmett is telling Edward how hot you look. Edward is saying 'shut the hell up Emmett she's my girl' now Edward is telling me to stop ease dropping." She giggled and so did Bella.

"Let's go down stairs and see what they are doing." Bella suggested


	4. cookies!

**Thank you so much for the reviews :) :D I will try to add more to the chapters but it will take a little while to update. I am trying to update daily but I am currently helping a friend move to a new town so it might take some time. **

When Bella walked down the staircase in to the big room Edward and jasper could only look.

"Damn it Edward, control your emotions!" jasper screamed at Edward. Jasper was looking at Bella with the same look of lust in his eyes as Edward.

Bella blushed.

"You look absolutely beautiful." Said Bella's boyfriend reaching to take her hand and sit to start with the presents.

"Thanks." She replied quietly her cheeks a brilliant shade of red.

"The damn cookies are done Bella." Rose scowled at her. "If you don't eat at least 3 I will personally rip your head to shreds and scatter the pieces-"

"ROSALIE!" Esme scolded. "She is a guest as well as a part of the family, I will not tolerate your despicable behavior. Do you understand me?"

"Yes." Rose told her mother then she turned to face Bella. "I'm sorry."

"I forgive you." Bella replied to the apology that she knew was not meant. "I'll go eat one now." She said making her way to the kitchen.

"NO!" Alice almost screeched at her.

"Why?" Bella asked turning around and then to find Edward at her side with his hand around her waist holding her to his side.

"Rose how could you do something like that!? Out of all the things to do her you had to add that to the cookies." Alice was furious, and only her, Rose, and Edward knew why.

"What'd she put in the cookies?" Emmett asked.

"What didn't she put in the cookies?" Edward asked sarcastically staring at rose is disgust.

"Rose." Esme tried not to scream at the top of her lungs. " tell me what are in the cookies right NOW!"

"Esme calm down." Edward tried to sooth her.

"Calm doesn't tell me what are in the freaking cookies!"

Edward started then Alice took off where he stopped.

"Illegal drugs, wine, metal shavings"

"Spit, soap, and… her venom."

Alice winced when she said the last part. You could see the horror in Bella's face as she watched her pixie like friend tell her boyfriends family what was in the so called cookies she was about to eat. Not that she trusted the cookies in the first place but still for a person to hate her that much as to turn her into a vampire or kill her never occurred to her.

Rose was already more then half way to the door by the time Alice was done. She was trying to

Escape Esme when she still could. Rose knew not to mess with Esme but she hated Bella so much she thought it was worth it.

"That's right rose you'd better run!" Esme screamed.

"Well then." Jasper grinned "Time for presents?"

**I hope you like it so far I will update soon. Sorry it's so short the next chapter will be longer.**


	5. presents,bell,ed,rose,em,jaz

**Thank you for the reviews :) **

I am soooooooo sorry it took so long

Rose came back and with Esme calmed down it was like any other Christmas, only with a human next to them.

All of the Cullen's and Bella sat around the tree in hope they would get what they wanted.

"Edward this is for you and Bella this one is yours." Emmett passed them there presents.

"Thank you."

"Thanks"

Edward reached for the present eagerly. He started to unwrap the gift; it was about the hard like metal, and round.

"Thank you for the... car paint?"

"We thought you'd gotten bored with the silver." Alice laughed.

"So we got you a nice neon green." Jasper added.

"Bella open your gift." Alice commanded.

"Okay." Bella started to open her gift. She realized it was very heavy.

"Who's it from?" Bella asked.

"Edward." Esme replied.

As she opened it something was shining in her eyes.

"Oh my God." She breathed. In her hands was a bright shining silver necklace. It was all diamonds and one of them read _Bella_. It looked extremely expensive.

"Do you like it?" Edward asked with a huge grin.

"I love it!" Bella exclaimed.

"Rose this one is yours, then Jasper, and Emmett." Carlisle said.

Rose got a rather small box with pink wrapping.

"It doesn't say who it's from." She examined.

"Just open it." Edward said to her.

Rose shook it and it sounded like something shattered.

"Dumb blonde." Edward whispered to Bella, she chuckled. Rose shot them a glare.

As she opened it she noticed that it shined just like Bellas, and a gold bracelet shone in the light. It had gold beads about a half an inch thick.

"Wow." Was all she could say.

"Your welcome." Alice said.

"Alice you got this for me? It's wonderful." Rose put it on.

"Thank you."

"Jasper what's your gift?" Bella asked. She noticed that it was a book but couldn't see what about. It looked big though.

"A psychologist book." He said frowning.

Everyone laughed except him, then he made them feel very unhappy and then he let then control their own emotions.

"Who got me this?" he asked angrily.

"So what did I get?" Emmett interrupted. As he reached for his box, it was small and fit in the palms of his hands.

"OH MY GOD I GOT A CAR!" he exclaimed

"Not just any car, a Hummer, black." Edward told him.

"Damn it that's awesome, thank you." He ran out of the door to test drive his new car.

**I will get to the other Cullen's in the next chapters then some teen partying. Lol R&R **


	6. presents for dad, mom, and alice

**Sorry about how long it took, give it till about February then I should be picking up the pace more and ideas are more than welcome, any party ideas or anything else I can't guarantee I will add them but I will read them. **

**Gifts are almost out of the way then for the teen partying. But shhh don't tell Esme or Carlisle. **

Emmett is somewhere with his new car, rose is somewhere with her bracelet, jasper is in his room reading his book, and Bella is still next to Edward.

"This gift is for you Alice." Carlisle told her.

"Thanks." **(A/N everyone changing their thoughts so she couldn't see what she got)**

Her gift was small and light, as she opened it her mouth fell open and her eyes widened.

"HOLLY SHIT!" Alice screamed "It's a $50,000 gift card to the Mall of America."

Alice ran out the door and hollered

"Later…"

"Esme this gift is yours." Bella handed Esme her gift.

"Thank you dear."

Esme opened it to see a car key, it was a key to a black Ferrari waiting for her outside.

"Oh my goodness." She breathed "This is wonderful." She ran outside to get in and take it for a ride.

Carlisle's gift was next. It seemed to be the same shape as Esme's.

"Wow, this is amazing." He said with a grin it was a key to a Maybach 57 "that car is rare thank you."

"Come on esme lets give our children some privacy. And drive our new cars" Carlisle smiled at esme and walked out of the door.

**The next chapter will be better and longer so please no reviews about how long it has been and it needs to be longer, I will get to making them longer**** R&R please **


	7. SUPRISE!

**None of this will spoil breaking dawn I hate it when people saw bd it took me forever for my friend to tell me what it meant. I will give credit to loshloverxoxo for some jokes takes place after new moon and before eclipse. R&R **

Everyone was back into the house (except for Carlisle and Esme) to get ready for a fun party. Alice was in a short skirt and a t-shirt, Bella in her sexy dress, Edward in a polo button up and jeans, Emmett in a jacket hoodie, with jeans, jasper a t-shirt with jeans, rose in a red blouse, with a green skirt about knee length.

"Hey Bella." Rose called in a friendly voice.

"Yeah." Bells answered quietly

"We bought some food for you."

"You did?" Bella was surprised at her, um, kindness.

"Don't worry." Alice reassured."We went together and got some human food for you."

That changed everything.

"Thanks you guys, what did you get me?"

"Come into the kitchen and find out." Edward said guiding her to the kitchen

When they got into the huge kitchen they saw something that was extremely unexpected. In the kitchen was Jacob and Seth covered with the sent of peppermint. Jacob was, of course, in kaki shorts and Seth was in jeans.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN OUR HOUSE" Edward face wasn't white any more, it was more like a bright red.

"Why couldn't we smell you? With your gross stink."

"Aren't you a little over the line mutt." Alice observed.

"We smelled food and wanted to know if I was true, that Bella was trying to commit suicide by coming into a house full of bloodsuckers." Jacob defended himself. Seth looked horrified.

"I didn't want a part in this the only reason I came was because Jacob said thered be food. Come on man lets go." He started to leave.

"You ate all of the food you dick!" rose wasn't very happy. She glared at him with eyes full of hate

"What goes vroom stop vroom stop vroom stop? A blonde at a blinking light."

"Oh how touching." Rose commented" how does a were wolf change a light bulb? He doesn't the big light bulb in the sky changes him."

"I don't know what is sadder the fact that you stooped to my level; to tell a joke back or the fact that you think the moon is a light bulb." Jacob fought back.

"enough." Jasper said calmly. And set a mood of calm peace.

Jacob was walking up to Bella but Edward stepped in front of her.

"Edward please." Bella walked out to Jacob

"What do you want?"

"Just to give you a Christmas gift."

"Well you've already given us a stink bomb." Rose scowled

"No it's just a card and some money bitch." Jacob looked at rose.

"Rose Jake stop please. It's Christmas."

"Sorry_ Jakey_."

"Sorry _rose_."

"Thank you Jacob now can you leave please. I really just want to have a vampire human party only."

"Fine." As Jacob was walking away he slapped Bella on the but. It wasn't only her that noticed. Edward's hand was at his throat in an instant. And Jacob was in the air flying out the door

"Get the hell out of my house." Edward screamed.

"I'll go get more food." Jasper told them as soon as everyone was back in the kitchen.

**Sorry it took so long review are welcome :) **


	8. BELLA!

**Thanks for the reviews**** and please send it to friends. I might have the next chapter up by Wednesday. And if you disagree with that then don't read it!!!!! Ok never mind please continue to red this by all means. : ) **

There was food everywhere on a counter, island, in the fridge, in the pantry. If the FBI came to investigate they would find the Cullen's normal people. What a laugh.

"Is the food alright love?" Edward asked

"It's great thanks." Bella said taking a bite out of a chocolate chip cookie

"I got it!" Emmett exclaimed holding a big brown paper bag.

"Got what?" Bella asked.

"The beer."

"What?!"

"I thought you liked taking a walk on the wild side Bella."

"Yes. But we're too young."

"Bella, we are over a hundred years old if not more than around a hundred. But you, you are correct you should not be drinking."

"Come on Eddie have some fun with your girl."

"My dad is the chief of police and I don't think he will-" Bella couldn't finish because Emmett shoved beer into a cup then splashed it into her face.

"What the hell, Emmett?!" Bella screamed at him.

"Wait a second, Gimmie the freaking cup Emmett." Bella started to chug it down.

"Bella." Edward was shocked "we are going to have to cut you down soon."

Bella unbuttoned the second button on Edward shirt.

"I don't care how many drinks you stop me from having, but in the end I will definitely have _you_"

Jasper and Alice started to laugh. Edward was trying as hard as he could not to loose control, on his vampire side, and his male side.

"Hey rose." Bella called.

"What?" she replied in disgust that, that human was in the same house as she was.

"I got you something for you and Emmett." Alice started to laugh and Jasper took her aside to another room.

"Yeah a present, so what is it?" Emmett asked curious.

Bella walked up to Emmett and put her hand on his pants.

"Bella!" Emmett used his vampire speed to slide away slightly from her touch.

"Bella what in the hell was that for." Edward asked.

"Emmett, trust me." Bella walked up to him ignoring Rose.

"Edward what is wrong with your girlfriend, she should keep her filthy warm hands off of him-"

Bella was at his zipper and started to undo it, she could feel him getting hard. She put her hand in his boxers and instantly pulled out a pack of condoms.

"BOOM, WHAT NOW!" She exclaimed laughing. "Wasn't that like totally fucking magical!?"

Emmett pulled his pants up and rose came up to Bella.

"What the hell was that?"

"Rose relax." Emmett soothed "Come on, lets go use our gift."

Rose and Emmett ran out the door to who knows where. And upstairs you heard a boom and a yell.

"So basically, it's just me and you in the house." Bella told her boyfriend.

"Well, not really but if you want to look at it that way you could."

"So come on, what are you waiting for?"

"Bella, having I already gone through why this is a bad idea."

Bella started to pull Edward upstairs to his room.

**Ohhhhhh what's gonna happen!!!!!! I just made a new story, it's webkinz but it is like a parody, lmao funny. Drunk Bella some of my favorite times. Please review!!! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry it took so long but with school I got a lot of homework**

**Enjoy! **

Bella was still suffering from a hangover even after her "fun" with Edward. They were in his bed Edward with his boxers on and her with a cami and shorts. They decided to some what cover up incase someone came in.

"You. Are. amazing." Bella whispered in his ear.

"I can not believe that I fell for such seduction."

"But you don't regret it, do you?" Bella snuggled up closer to him.

"Of corse not." He replied. "That was the most fun I have ever had. But we do need to get you home to Charlie before he gathers some of his cop friends and looks for you." Edward started to get up when he was pushed back down, then he felt his lips on Bellas. They seemed to have been like that for minuets before Edward picked her up and set her down on the floor next to him. She moved as close to him as possible

"Bella." He breathed. He ran his fingers through her hair "we have to go."

"Fine, but just remember that, umm, I forgot." Bella walked over and grabbed her jeans and put them on. **(A/N she came to the party with jeans then changed into the dress)**

Once they were all dressed they walked downstairs into the kitchen to get some food for Bella.

"So are you going to drive me home?" Bella asked.

"Do you want me to?"

"No I think I'll go alone to make sure he knows that not every time I leave the house when I come back you are with me."

"Okay then bye."

"Bye." Bella walked out of the Cullen house knowing that what she lost there she would never get back.

**Should I continue? I don't really care so what ever the fans want. Just tell me in the review if you want more please.**


	10. busted?

**Ok this is the last chapter thank you for all of the reviews through out the story =) **

When Bella got to her house her breath was minty. She had found some mints in her truck and ate almost all of them to hide the smell of alcohol. It was raining when she pulled into the driveway.

Once she got into the house she took off her coat and hung it on the rack.

"Where have you been?" Charlie asked in his big tough guy voice.

Bella had been practicing her little white lie to tell Charlie as to why she came home the next day at 10 'o clock in the morning.

"We were watching a Christmas movie and I fell asleep."

"When you say we who-"

"Edward, Alice, Jasper, and Emmett there parents were at another party. And Rosalie went somewhere early."

He looked at her trying to find out if she was telling the truth as a father, and as a cop.

"Alright then, good to see you had fun." He smiled and walked into the living room looking unconvinced.

Bella ran upstairs to her room to change into her pjs and have a good nights rest from a very long two days.

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"_At Edwards house_

"What has been going on here? Carlisle asked. When Esme and him got back.

"What happened to my kitchen?" Esme asked very angered

"Jacob and his friends decided to join the party and give Bella something." Emmett explained "And we haven't had a chance to clean up yet."

"I want this house clean." Carlisle demanded. "Now." He took Esme and walked away.

"You wouldn't believe how mad he is." Jasper told them. "And Esme is pretty disappointed."

"Come on let's clean so we can do something." Edward said.

**Sorry the last 2 chapters have been so short I ran out of ideas hoped you liked the story. =)**


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